Keep on trying!

I had a really great Sunday.  After Rik and Hannah were gone to church and I was still laying in bed, this has been my weekend ritual as of late.  I was enjoying the quiet and then had a really great talk with Heavenly Father.  I told him that I was tired of this life of depression and isolation.  I have always enjoyed my solitude or hiding time.  With my history of growing up in a dysfunctional home I was often embarrassed and had low self esteem so I spent a lot of time hiding and thinking, creating my own little life.  I was asking in prayer why I can’t get back to where I was when I was part of the world and motivated.  The first strange thing that happened was I went to pick up the newest copy of the Ensign and it fell open to this article on Depression so I felt like I better read it and while most of it rang familiar, other parts didn’t.  In prayer I realized that I suffer from a core issue of anxiety.  I feel not good enough to measure up to what is expected of me.  This is a real problem at my job.