Biggest loser.                                          

I am still learning this whole Word Press thing.  I am not sure I even like it and may switch to Blogger.  I don’t think it dates anything, dumb.

It has been a bit and I haven’t been over eating but definitely not Medifasting.  This past few weeks the I-Centra system was introduced to my work and I am big time intimidated by technology anyway so I have been emotionally stressed out.  Because there were delays in its launch, they bought us lunch everyday and I chose (not very happy with myself) to eat whatever was coming.  I know that I cannot make that a life’s plan and if I want to get weight off and be healthy then there will have to be moderation in my eating and I still have the bad mental mindset that if I ate bad at lunch why be careful the rest of the day.

Today is a new day.  I weighed in at 183.4 so that is a real stop in progress. I stayed home from work today to take care of crisis and I have started back up and all I can promise right now is one day at a time.  My wish is to be down 20 by Christmas which would put me very close to where I was last year.  It’s realistic if I stay spot on with plan.  I have bought all these Zone bars which I need to shy clear of until I get things really rolling with straight Medifast.  I also need to read all the Medifast helpful information including Dr Anderson’s book.  He is a big Medifast medical guru.  Because I don’t have much respect for Dr. Oz I also have a hard time respecting other Physicians that go off of the Medical lines they were taught and get “quacky”.  I know that Medifast works but I feel like everyone is out to make a buck and that tarnishes credibility sometimes.  I think most of these thoughts are in my head from that failure voice, not my succeeder voice and I just need to start losing and gain power and weight loss self esteem.  I’m doing this.

I need to go through my closet and get rid of clothes.  Some of my Sunday clothing is probably out of style or not the cutest.  I have plenty of new dresses I have never worn or even tried on (I know they’re small).  My rods are jam packed and it’s horrible trying to put things away after laundering.  I need to put shorts away, throw out stuff I feel yucky in.  It feels like there’s no value there because only a small portion of items fit or make me feel decent.  A lot of it I am not sure if I will like it more when it fits as I have some cute stuff.  I know this is the closet analysis of an overweight person.  I never thought these would be my issues.

I am really going to try to pray, read scriptures and other good things, go to church and get myself more spiritually together for the coming Christmas season.  I am so weak, sad and lonely when I am not being Heavenly Father’s daughter.  I cannot succeed in anything without doing the things that really matter.