Self Sabotage 

This is a game I’ve played with myself for far too long.  I had even seen a he #176 which was 10 pounds down from this times start and in 5 weeks that is decent normal loss but then it almost feels like I am fighting myself back the other way.  This morning I saw 183.6 which is a regain of 7.  

I have had a lot of emotional turmoil going on in my life and food is definitely my drug of choice. I have also been experiencing quite a bit of physical pain.  Not just the knees being in a mess but my cervical spine has been back out of alignment so I have been sleeping horribly and am so tired all the time.  I wonder if I have let my Vitamin D or Potassium fall back down as I have been out of both.  I don’t think my Doctor get’s labs enough.  Truthfully though it could be that I’ve been on this 50/50 Medifast crash carbs diet which I am sure has my body so freaking confused. 

Today I go to my ENT appointment and “go me” I have not done one thing that I was asked to do.  No inhaler, nose cream or daily Claritin.  I am a really horrible patient and I know better.  I want the quick fix in everything in life and when that is looking to surgery,  that is really a pathetic attitude to have.

It was this week a year ago I started at 196 and now I am back to having a 13 pound loss which isn’t a complete failure but realistically on this program I could have lost all my weight twice had I buckled down.  I start again and I just have to do this all the way OP one week at a time .  Week One’s goal ~ Get myself back into fat burn and see 169-170 on the scale.  10,000 steps everyday.   I’ll never give up until the fat lady leaves.

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