The Big Reveal……on a Tuesday?

I had only wanted to be able to post links when I wanted, to Facebook about my blog but I don’t know how to change it from posting every time ……..anyone know, tell me?   So, for tonight anyone reading this (I’m posting from the inside of a closet) is going to know that one day I weighed 196 pounds.  Some thought I needed to tell it like it is~cringing!

Last October 23 I started Medifast for the first time and went from that ^ number to 160 (starting to feel pretty dang good) by December 23 but then lied to myself that I could take a week off and enjoy the holiday week/food.  Well that was a mistake for a few reasons…..First, there is suppose to be a transition period when you stop strict plans like this where you slowly reintroduce the old foods, otherwise your body will grab onto every bit of it as regain.  Second, I hadn’t really done the mental work of what food was about for me.  I am a carb addict!  It soothes me  and I had been so busy and stressed with the season that I was crazy to think I would pick it back up.  Third and last,  I let go of my “whys”.  Why I decided that I would invest this money into myself to do this program, as rigid as it is.  The whys were that ‘there would never be a good time’.  I waited forever and tortured myself through many batches of cabbage soup and a bunch of other silly attempts (HCG) as well as magic Wednesday ~that’s a good story, a multitude of Monday’s and oh so many other perfect times and plans.  The only time weight loss has lasted for me was when I worked at it until the goal was met.  I am an all or nothing person and sharp backslides just depress me more than when I started.  These are things I am well aware of and need to work on.  It goes hand in hand with people with anxiety issues.  Another why ‘I have a positive ANA marker which is indicative of an autoimmune condition’.  A high carbohydrate diet leads to inflammation which makes me feel like ~ BAD.  I have had enough tests run and decided I don’t need a name for an illness,  what I need is to treat my body in such a way that it forgets about it’s reason to fight me. The last of my whys, ‘I want to be active’.  In high school a million years ago I started going jogging and I loved it.  As the years went by I did Jazzercise, Aerobics, Walking, competively Power Walking and just kept it moving all the time .  After the birth of my children I was right back to working out, gardening, working, serving at church, etc.  It was never too much of an issue getting back in shape.  I felt like I let my weight sky rocket with my third and fourth(twin) pregnancies letting myself get to 163.  I had additional weight to lose but I got it down.  I never dreamed that I would weigh 196 one day without carrying a child.

The unraveling for me was physical injuries and wear and tear.  I’ve always pushed myself hard and I don’t think that’s bad but my genetic makeup does not support muscles and tendons that can last 90 years or so.  After foot surgery, a badly broken foot, rotator cuff repair, sinus surgery, allergy shots and four knee repairs in about 4-5 years.  Four daughter’s weddings in about the same time frame, I found myself greatly reduced in my physical activity, 50 pounds heavier, quitting a job out of sheer frustration and chronically depressed.  So then I decided returning to school was the only option.  Food was never a stress reliever until all of this hit but I developed some really bad habits.

So I am learning!  I believe that there is an adversary that will find our weaknesses and try to destroy our light and happiness.  I believe that there is a God that needs our joy and ability as disciples to serve him and help each other through this life.  I believe he wants me to be healthy and happy and with him I will attain these goals.  I will master these bad habits that are binding my spirit with depression.  I will be an example and light to my friends and family.  This will free me up to play with my Grandchildren, enjoy retirement with my sweet husband and serve those around me.

Last,  the statistics.   This time I started on Labor Day, September 7th at 186.6.  Week one brought me to exactly 181.6.  I have not lost more today so we will see what tomorrow brings………….and now you know.Edit

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